Not having Daddy to walk you
down the aisle at your wedding, help you get out of a crunch or
give financial advice. Not having Mama to answer questions about
family medical history, enjoy your baby's first steps, or teach
you to cook a roux. Not seeing the other half of the pair grinning
as you stride across the stage to receive your diploma. Not knowing
who will intercede with the surviving parent when inevitable miscommunications
occur. These types of concerns become realities in the aftermath
of a parent's death.
Many long-held beliefs and assumptions are challenged when a young
adult is adapting to the death of a parent. Mom or Dad beginning
to date again forces the son or daughter to recognize the parent's
needs and interests. The young adult may be amused, angry or repelled
by seeing the surviving parent socially and sexually interesting
to and interested in others. If the parents were separated or divorced,
their child's secretly held belief that they would reconnect also
dies.
When our parents are active, we take them for granted. When our
parents are declining, we believe they will live on. When our parent
dies, we begin to see ourselves as the older generation.
