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Checklist After the Funeral
[Article
Index]
Pat Andrus, MS
A Comforting Voice
Once the funeral is past,
there are many details requiring a surprising amount of attention.
Postponing some of them for a reasonable period of time allows
us to feel more ready to make decisions. Having a checklist may
help us get organized, protect ourselves from costly errors, and
teach us about a subject foreign to many of us.
This checklist was prepared with Martin & Castilleās philosophy
in mind. Not all funeral homes apply the same policies and procedures
or provide the same services.
The Business of the Funeral
In our office we often refer to this as the "busyness" of the
funeral. Our staff is highly trained in helping families take
care of the details after the funeral. However, most people have
not been responsible for handling the business arrangements surrounding
a death.
Remember:
- You may feel many feelings at this time: confusion, fatigue,
disorientation, inability to concentrate, anger, disappointment,
surprise, guilt and even relief. This is a time of being very
emotional or perhaps being emotionally drained.
- Allow yourself periods of rest throughout the day. Pace yourself.
Everything need not be accomplished at once.
- Time is required for such steps as the doctor or coroner signing
the death certificate, completing the death certificate, preparing
the memorial record book, laminating the obituary clippings, as
well as receiving and processing the insurance claim forms.
- Factors such as holidays and scheduling can affect the timing.
It may actually take months to finalize the details after funerals.
- Others may be available and able to help with some of these
tasks. Asking someone you trust to be with you can soften the
trauma of being overwhelmed. Letting others run errands, write
thank you notes, search for important documents and such allows
them to show they care in concrete ways.
- Federal and state guidelines are constantly being revised and
amended. Policies may have changed without your knowledge.
- In most situations, it is recommended that you wait at least
one year before making any major decisions such as the selling
of the family home. Although it is hard to resist urges such as
quitting your job or selling your house, it generally is better
to try something which can be undone if it doesnāt work out, like
taking a leave of absence from work.
- Record the names of pallbearers, musicians, music selections,
place of burial, and other service information in the memorial
record book.
- Prepare the final invoice of charges.
- File the death certificate with the local health unit.
- Help you process life and/or burial insurance claim forms.
- Help you process retirement or pension plan claim forms if appropriate.
- Prepare and submit the required Statement of Death by Funeral
Director (SSA-721) form to notify Social Security.
- Prepare the forms to be taken to the Veteranās Administration
office to file for veteranās benefits, a flag and cemetery marker.
- Provide thank you notes and prayer cards if you ordered any
when the funeral director helped you make arrangements for the
service.
- Offer suggestions for ways to write thank you notes. These may
jog your memory or help you get started.
- Provide special thank you notes for clergy and pallbearers.
- Gather important documents: life and burial insurance polices,
social security card or number, military discharge papers, last
will and testament, stock certificates, deeds and titles, bank
books, deceasedās birth certificate and those of any minor children,
marriage license, etc. Do not throw anything out at this time.
- Call the funeral home office (337-234-2311) for an appointment
with a personal secretary already assigned to help you. Your funeral
director will have told you to call ahead for an appointment as
having one saves you time because the secretary will be assured
to have your portfolio ready.
- Reconsider the number of certified death certificates you ordered
during the arrangements conference. Be sure you have an ample
number.
- Consult with an attorney specializing in will, estates, and
probate. Be sure to discuss any fees before receiving any legal
help. Some attorneys charge by the minute for phone calls.
- Begin writing thank you notes for the floral arrangements, food
dishes, donations to charities, and other special acts of kindness.
Although it is generally not expected, you may wish to acknowledge
someone who came a distance to the funeral or sent notes and cards
of sympathy.
- Writing only a few notes at a time may take you longer to complete
your list, but allows you to think about the wording and lessens
the stress of doing this demanding task. Breaking such a large
task into smaller steps helps us view it as something we can achieve.
- Arrange to have any potted plants or special floral arrangements
not brought to the cemetery delivered to your residence by the
funeral home.
- Notify any creditors of the deceased person: Mortgage companies,
banks, credit card issuers, government loans, etc. Some loans
are insured such as mortgage insurance paying off the debt for
a home.
- Notify credit unions, employers or other groups or organizations
with which the deceased was associated. These often have insurance
policies which name a beneficiary.
- Take completed forms to the Veteranās Administration, if applicable.
- Finalize hospital and physiciansā bills, nursing home accounts,
etc.
- Contact Medicare for possible assistance with the final medical
bills if the deceased was 65 or over.
Considerations for the Future...
- Maintain your health while grieving.
- Financial needs and income.
- Employment, careers and volunteerism.
- Role changes.
- Attending a grief seminar or class.
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