Pat Andrus, MS
A Comforting Voice
Sitting in a dark room lowers
spirits after a while.
It seems so simple, yet it is so complex. Simply because we are
grieving, the most obvious ideas are often the hardest to grasp.
During the next few months, we have to help ourselves find light.
All kinds of light - physical, emotional and spiritual light will
help us live easier days as we mourn our loss.
Something as simple as turning on lamps and opening drapes to
allow sunshine in boosts our sense that the world has not changed
as totally as we believe it has. Our loss is part of a greater world
that continues to turn, in spite of us feeling confused, overwhelmed
and perhaps angry.
Getting outside on sunny, and even on overcast but warmer, days
reminds us we are all part of a greater force. Watching squirrels
racing in the trees, hearing bluejays squabble, and admiring the
shape of barren tree limbs gets us in touch with life going on around
us. We may even experience hope for the spring months to come. Taking
a short, easy walk helps clear our minds, gets the good chemicals
flowing in our bodies, and can almost miraculously help us solve
some problems.
Emotional light comes from inside ourselves as well as from the
presence of others. For some of us, memories of happier times bring
brightness to our day, even though the sadness exists, too. For
others of us having a good cry lightens our load for a time. Talking
with trusted friends, a counselor, minister or others is often soothing
and perhaps enlightening. Returning to old hobbies or developing
new activities helps the hours pass.
Our mind is occupied with thoughts of how we will take care of
ourselves, how we will continue living without our loved oneās physical
presence. Time also helps our emotional healing, but we have to
help time do its work.
On a spiritual level, staying in touch with our faith and beliefs
offers hope for those who have gone before us and for ourselves
too. Investigating our religious beliefs, reviewing our faith and
using prayer and meditation to ease our fears and anxieties can
be enriching to our lives. Just sitting under the arms of a favorite
tree offers solace for many.
Each of us deserves moments of peace, but sometimes we keep ourselves
too busy to recognize these precious times. Rejoicing in these moments
or recognizing them in reflection are part of our spiritual enlightenment.
Resting in our struggles for a period of time provides the opportunity
we may need just to recognize what we are experiencing.
Wherever we find ourselves right now, learning just one or two
ways to help us through the dreary, often dark months of winter
can reassure us. Our grieving and mourning is a process, a very
important part of our total lives. But it does not have to be without
hope. Taking care of ourselves is difficult to learn and harder
to practice.
Be patient. Turn on some light: admire the shine it gives to your
room. It helps.
